we chase the light we do not see

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I’ve found most heartbreak begins when we envision a future of dreams and plans that we hope come to fruition without the mentality of surrender. The “what if” is powerful, overbearing truly, and some of my biggest dreams were clasped with closed hands; not desiring to release them to the One who knows best. Perhaps that’s the downfall to being a dreamer.

Heartbreaks come in many shapes and sizes, and some start at young ages. I seem to remember them all as if remembering a distant girl- one that was silly in her thoughts of what she wanted. Yet in remembering that girl, I remember the spunk that propelled her to embark on those dreams. I remember the tears and the prayers that seemed to overflow when closed doors came. I remember the hope that would ignite when thinking of the faithfulness of the Lord.

My mama always said, “Hold things like you hold the sand, Han. With outstretched hands, open fingers that loosely hold what has been given in order to let things fall when God calls, and open when God gives.” If it is anything that I have learned, it is that God calls things out of your life for a greater reason than our limited knowledge. Years down the road from many closed doors that I thought I just had to have open, I see the truth in that statement.

So many dreams have fallen short for all of us. Years of dreaming with no entrance into reality. My dad use to tell me when I was 7 and we were talking about lost dreams, I said, “Don’t worry Dad. It’s the ending of one dream, but the beginning of the next.” Those words stood with us both. I have no doubt God uses words of the young to reassure us of truth as firmly as I believe that old dreams are replaced with God-sized dreams. Bigger and bolder than the previous, with truth that they will heal all wounds of disappointment and give greater glory to more than ourselves.

We chase the light we do not see when we trust our own visions of the future instead of the calls of He who foreknows. When the thought of what we cannot have grows more powerful than the knowledge that there is more to be found in the Life-Giver. We are impatient with His timing, and trade in permanent joy for temporary satisfaction. If we learn to hold things loosely, as if holding the sand, perhaps we might be able to have unveiled eyes to the light we can see. A mindset of surrender can be the difference in our pain. When we hold with open hands, we do not cry out in fear that our control is slipping. Surrender knows that we truly hold no control, yet have full confidence in a God that does.

Our dreams are never more in danger than when we choose to glorify them above the God that gives us them. To the dreamers and the heartbroken:

  • God longs for you to dream. To be ambitious, to hope for more.

  • God cares about your dreams. From the silly little crushes to the life changing ones, He cares.

  • God chooses to take dreams to replace with better ones. Ones that are for your good.

  • God does not abandon those left at closed doors.

So to my dreamers and to my friends that are terribly heart-broken, hold on. Hold on to the hand that will guide you. For in holding His hand, surely you will find the courage to chase the light you do see.

Hannah King