5 Tips When It Comes to Friendships
Friendships are a big deal, man. They have the power to make your life paradise- a big, beautiful, spontaneous whirl wind. OR a devastating, lonely, chaotic, mess. I've had both.
Seeing that friendships is a topic that is extremely important, and can really influence a fantastic season of life or crush it, I knew we had to talk about it. Through talking about it, here are five tips I came up with when it comes to friendships.
- You were designed to have them.
From the beginning, God thought it was best to give us a sense of community.
Genesis 2:18/ "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
Honestly, this will be something that will always struck me in awe of how loving the Lord is. The Lord is more than enough for us. His love abounds more than any other human's possibly can, yet He still decided to make more than Adam. He could have designed us to only want the Lord, and to just coexist with others. He could have designed robots- beings to just service His needs. Yet, He designed it in the heart of man to love others hearts as well. What a giving God He must be to design a world where we can have friendships with other souls. He's willing to give up sole attention to shower us with a greater love.
2. We weren't meant to solely depend on them.
As much of a blessing friendships are, we were never meant to fully lean on them. Don't get me wrong, there is a spiritual power to friendships when going through trials and victories. I firmly believe the Lord uses souls to bring the comfort and relatibility we crave through His kids. However, we will never find the peace and joy we need in them. We will never find consistency in inconsistent beings- we simply just can't. Oh, the many stories I could tell you of times when people have let me down. I know there have been so many for you as well. Dependency on human beings is one of the most dangerous routes we could take.
3. Be careful who you call a "friend".
There are so many times I call someone a "friend", who honestly isn't. Terminology is important. I found it interesting that the definition of friend is: "a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection". POWERFUL WORDS IN THIS, PEOPLE. First of all, the word "know" is important. To know and be known one of the most beautiful things we can receive through friendship. The Lord created friendship and community fully knowing that there can be special bonds between His creation. There is power in being able to know another human being and to relate with one. I cannot stress to you enough to consider a person a "friend" only if they meet the requirements of being a true friend. This is someone that desires to know you, that has an affection for you, and more. A friend that is loyal. A friend that will defend you. A friend that will pursue you. A friend that will speak words of life about you. So often we settle for less than a friend, and put the label on them anyways. Some people aren't capable of a friendship that reflects a higher love, because they have not experienced that in Christ first.
4. Friends fail.
I'm going to let out a (not so much of) a secret. I have failed as a friend. I have gossiped behind my friends backs out of jealousy. I have judged some of their choices because they were different than mine. I have had a heart of thinking I know the right path for them. I haven't always gone out of my way to make sure my friends are loved, and known. Guess what? I've had friends that have failed hard-core, too. What makes the difference is mutually knowing that we have failed, and striving towards something more. Recognizing the blessing of our friendship, and striving for more depth. By the grace of God, I am learning how to be a better friend. I have seen how the Lord has turned my warrior heart into one of fighting for my friends, willing to defend them till my death. I have wronged some of my closest friends in the past, but I refuse to let that mindset enter the future. I will fight to be the friend the beautiful soul's in my life deserve. And let me tell you this: If you do not have friends that are willing to do that for you, drop them.
5. Christ has gotta be the foundation.
I know you already know this, but it is oh so true. The friends that have stayed throughout the years, are the ones that have constantly gone back to the Bible and the Lord for a foundation. Your foundation must be the Lord. It ultimately will fail without.
I encourage you to choose friends that are souls that reflect the Lord's love. Friends of depth. I know what it is like to long for deeper friendships, to go through the lonely seasons wondering if the Lord will provide that. I guarantee you that the Lord has those friendships that will show you a side of eternity. In this waiting season, prepare yourself to be the best, stinkin' friend there ever has been.