Choosing Confidence OVER Fear

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My first year after high school has been a difficult season, but an extremely eye-opening experience. In entering the adult world, I have found characteristics about myself that I have neglected to examine in a closer lens. I think allowing the Lord to shape me, and relying solely on Him has been one of the scariest things I have ever done. However, I have really found out who I am. The lovely, the good, and allll the ugly. Being placed in a season of life that was out of my control and that I did not at all plan, made me  resort to some answers based on the people I was talking to. For instance, when someone asked me what college I would like to transfer to, I would list one of the options I was thinking of that I thought that person would best understand. Even if that college was not necessarily somewhere I saw myself going, I figured that I would gain the most approval out of that person if I gave them an answer they would relate to. The same would go for what my long-term plans are, and what I want to get a degree in. Did I gain their approval? Perhaps. Was it extremely detrimental? Absolutely.

When we choose to follow the expectation of others, we only grow in insecurity and doubt. Ultimately, we are choosing to live in fear. To live for the pleasure of people is detrimental not only because we sacrifice who we truly are, but because we are allowing the plans of others to be more of an importance than the desires the Lord has placed in our hearts. This is where the topic of this blog post begins to make sense. Time after time, I have chosen to live in the fear of what people will think of me OVER the confidence the Lord desires to give me. To start an instagram to express the joy of the Lord I have, and to express creativity frightened me because of the fear of what others would think. To start a blog was even scarier, because I knew people would talk. However, I have found that the more I step out in faith to conquer my fear, the Lord opens up blessings that line up with the desires of my heart. Sometimes I wonder how many blessings the Lord would give if we only had the courage to step out in faith. Faith that the Lord's promises are true. The desires of our hearts are surely His best. And that ultimately, we are children of the most High King that will NOT be influenced by the mere thought of what others think.

So I decided to try it. Why not? The people that I would not gain approval from

  1. would say mean things about me regardless of my actions. Gossip stems from insecurity and discontentment in that individual-not the victim of gossip.
  2. are not people that truly know me or my heart anyways. Their view of who I am in a fleeting greeting or lens through social media does not at all equate to who I am in my Father.

As simple as those reasons sounded, it was harder to place into action when I have been bounded by the thoughts of others for so long. But I decided to do it. Embark on a journey that would require to press into the fullness of Christ's love, and less of people's approval. The outcome? I have found so much stinkin' joy in choosing answers that exemplify the passions the Lord has placed in me. I have found so much joy in choosing activities to do that may be different than others. I have explored the creative part the Lord has placed in my life, and have found a joy I didn't know was possible. I have been set free from the bondage that I used to place myself in, and have found the outcome to help me grow in more areas than one. The emotions that have once dictated my ways succumb to the truth I have found in Christ. The pain of the past I use to dwell on does not have room for the present joy the Lord gives me. The fear I used to be enslaved to does not lead me any longer. Through surrender of fear, I have found flight in faith.

I encourage you, dear reader, to choose confidence over fear. Walk with His confidence; run to it. Flee from the trap the enemy has to be like everyone else, to choose like everyone else. You'll find yourself laughing a little bit more, loving a whole lot deeper, and growing in confidence of the call the Lord has for you.

You are beautiful. You are worth of pursuit. You are so loved.

Hannah Elaine