For the Single Girls:
*disclaimer: this blog post is one for the girls who feel alone in singleness and are looking for answers. I, in no way, have the answers of dating, and in no way am claiming to.* I'm a blogger's perfect sort of target audience. When faced with a question, I'll browse upon thousands of people's opinions on the internet- waiting with expectation for the answer that will bring peace to my soul. I'm going to kind of throw it out there, that if you came here looking for the "secret" about dating, you are too.
For the many years of singleness, I waited with expectation of the man I would date. I wondered what dating would be like and if it would fulfill me. Although I tried my best not to get obsessed with the idea of it, and think that my life would be complete in having a boyfriend, I totally did. I was excited for my other half, my teammate and best friend. In those years, I browsed the internet and saw every Christian blog post about relationships there was. I read all sort of dating books looking for the best wise answer to handle my years of waiting. I analyzed every Instagram relationship that I could. And there were thousands upon thousands of opinions all varying in different directions.
Some pastors, teachers, and bloggers condemned dating at a young age, or even praying together. Some uplifted it. Some thought that there were certain red flags you must run away from, and some thought grace should be extended. Some encouraged that I was to just focus on Christ, and not worry about my future husband, while other commended me on writing letters to him and praying for him often. There were mixed signals everywhere, and I had no idea how to train my mind. I was confused and my mind was wandering and desiring.
I found that the underlying theme of it all was that I felt incredibly guilty for wanting a gift like this so badly. Always having an inner turmoil of what to think, and how to act. Trying so desperately to get the thoughts of wanting to date, that I almost convinced myself it was bad to think about it- even dream. I was convinced that because I wanted this gift so badly it wasn't going to happen, and because there wasn't a set formula that everyone had in common, I thought I was doomed. I wanted that formula for dating, and I wanted it for myself so badly.
My friend, I wish so badly I could take you out to coffee right now and hear your heart. I wish I could give you a huge hug, and rain words of His love over you. Hear my heart when I tell you this, in this fight of singleness, you are not alone. Your heart is not requesting desires that turn back void. You are not a bottle of mess that the Lord cannot use. You are daughter of the Most High, and in due time, the Lord will fulfill that deep desire of you.
The answer of dating, in the midst of all of the opinions and noise, is quite simple.
I've found the only correlation behind every Christian insight to this crazy thing of dating is sweet Jesus. Jesus who brings two people together. Jesus who allows them to grow together. And Jesus who eternally binds two people together.
As Christians, we muse and we ponder over secret formulas that will grant us our desires. I have seen Christians date at 15 to get married and spend a lifetime together. I have seen the same for those who found each other at 40. There is not a specific time, a specific season, a specific spot you need to achieve. That blog post, book, friend's advice will not help you find the peace that comes in the waiting of singleness.
Yahweh, Abba, Father, King of Kings.
You submit your desire. He listens to your cry. He chooses what is the absolute best. He aligns it. You follow.
Jesus, the God of freedom, desires for you to find peace in every season He gives you. Desires for you to take rest in His presence. Beckons you to come close to let His love pour down on you.
For now, He is calling you to walk in freedom in your singleness. Don't try to figure your God out, and what He is doing in this area of your life. If you can trust Him in the things as big as your Salvation, you can trust Him in the small things.