It's the little things

IMG_9657.jpg

Depth is what I desire. I could listen in a room filled with all of the C.S. Lewis’ of the world, and be fascinated for hours, craving to listen and learn from their intellect. Desiring for their intellectual hours to give me a greater grasp of the attributes of Jesus Christ: the God I serve. In going through different seasons of life, I have figured out that I carry a terrible, simple, detrimental flaw. I do not know the fullness of His love. How crazy is that, that from one of my youngest of ages, I still do not quite understand the “Jesus loves me” song. I know all of the Biblical, Sunday-school answer without a thought, but when I’m driving through a storm, I still run to my best friend “doubt” and “fear”. When I get asked “Who will take your burdens from you?”, my immediate heart-felt answer is not my Sunday-school one (Jesus). How can after all of these years of going to Bible camps, and organizing Bible studies, I still can miss out on the biggest answer of all? I believe that my greatest flaw is all together involved with the fact that I do not know fullness. Now according to that flaw, we all would seem to fall short of it, wouldn’t we? I mean, we live in a fallen world. However, because I am a daughter of the King, I do have the expectation to rest in the fullness of the Lord’s love for me– I have a duty to do so. You see, in not knowing the fullness of the Lord’s love for me, I fall short of knowing the fullness of everything else. To not know the fullness of the Lord’s love, is to not realize the fullness of everything else. It truly is a domino effect, with the first domino leading the way. The domino won’t stop destroying everything else, until it’s removed. In this mindset, I am easily insecure of how other’s view me, living my life trying to prove my worth by the verdict of their praise. I hold on to body image issues and quickly  fall into the trap of comparison. The dominos keep going, and keep going, and before you know it, I am in the middle of the mess, looking every which way and just feeling like a plain ol’ failure.

All because I believed a lie. That I have to prove my worth to find the fullness of the Lord’s love. I doubted His grace not to be enough. And here’s the interesting part of all of this…if you too can look at all of your insecurities, and go to the root of it all, I bet I can pinpoint it. You are also not confident of the fullness of the Lord’s love for you.

You may think this is the silliest, sunday-school grade answer there is to be. We fail to realize the power in the things we hear in repetition. How often have we heard Jesus loves us? That He died because He loves us? When was the last time we fully realized the power that comes with the realization of His love? I am fully convinced of this, when we can continue to proclaim truth with a revelation of the power behind it, we may be set free. Free to understand the fullness of His love.

I’ve seen the greatness that happens when people boldly believe and proclaim the Lord’s fullness for them. I’ve seen chains broken, fears reversed. I have seen them in my own life; and I have seen them in others. I have seen those that proclaim their biggest weakness, sound so full of strength. I have seen those embrace their ugly, radiate their beauty. I have seen the unlovable, find so much love in Christ. Because when we fully believe the fullness of the Lord’s love, we find fullness in all areas of life. We were called to a life centered around our Savior. Oh sweet soul to whom I writing this to, I pray that you may find the peace that comes in fullness. I know you desire to live full, to live in greatness.

Rest in His fullness. There is no anxiety, no fear. Only love.

Remember, you are worth the fullness of His love.

Hannah Elaine