My First Semester Away from Home
It's crazy the opportunity of moving away from home by yourself gives. You find out altogether the most beautiful parts of yourself- and the worst. You find out the deepest of your dreams, and the parts of your heart that feel so void and unfulfilled. You find out the richness of deep relationships, and quickly find out the toxic relationships that you don't want to be a part of. Everyone told me that my first semester would be hard; maybe even hard enough to leave after the first semester. I would be lying to you if I said there weren't times where I wanted to give up, run back into the arms of my comfort zones, and stay there forever. However if there is one thing I have learned yet, God never calls the comfortable to more. And I found that in all of it, this semester has been one of so much growth and beauty. So many sweet relationships, moments, and movement. So in sitting at the airport, reflecting on all the Lord has done, I have decided to share what I have learned about myself.
I found out a lot about myself when building new relationships. I found out that I am a person that loves being surrounded by souls that ache for more than themselves. I am inspired by world-changers, and people of growth.
I found out a lot about myself when in conversation. I found out that I am a person that loves asking questions, to get as close as I can to truly seeing the soul in front of me.
I found out a lot about myself in the times I was alone. I found out that I love the lonely, and the delight I find in Jesus. I have found that there is an abandon and confidence that comes when sitting in His presence.
I found out a lot about myself in the face of rejection. I found out that bringing it to the Lord is always better than choosing bitterness. I have found that He even turns a stubborn mindset like mine into one graced by His love.
I found out a lot about myself when watching people. I found that I love the way their eyes spark up when talking about their passions. I found it intriguing when their eyes grew sad, wondering what was going on beneath the surface. I found out that I can't get enough of my Papa's children.
I found out a lot about myself in the times of adventure. I found out that I love laughter, the sound of it, etc. It's an odd sound coming from your mouth that announces that you are enjoying what's around you. How rad.
I found out a lot about myself when I am asked hard questions. I found out that I desire more of them, and that I am a person that talks boldly about their Lord. He has given me a courage I never thought I could have.
I found out a lot about myself when I had to forgive. I found out that the Lord has given me the blessing to forgive, even without an apology. I found that He hurts with me, and vindicates. This was a big deal for my stubborn-hearted, natural fighter mentality self, guys.
I found out a lot about myself when I was loved like crazy. I found out that my Papa loves loving on me and using His people to do that, and I need to embrace that. Dying to flesh doesn't mean dying to accepting love.
I found out that I still love to be a kid. I love to choreograph dances with my roommate and come up with silly games at work. I found out that screaming on the top of my lungs is still a thing, and that giggling is a gift.
I found out I love creativity. It took me until this semester to honestly realize the creativity in every being. Look at how they dress, look at how they talk about what their passionate about. Look at their little unique parts that is different than everyone else. The creative parts of every being is proof of a Creative Creator.
I found out that I am a person without a plan. Gone are the ways of planning out the next ten years of my life. I don't know what next semester will hold; and I find that to be the most exciting adventure of them all.
I encourage you to also write out what you learned about yourself these past couple months. Find out the little desires, the little hardships, the little struggles, the little parts of you that scream RAD. Rejoice in what others have learned, encourage them in their victories.
I want to hear what you learned about yourself. You are altogether intriguing and worth being known. Feel free to message me. Also, to all of the incredible people I met (through school or social media) this semester: thank you. Thank you for journeying with me, encouraging me, and loving me.